When I was 15 on one occasion I was coming home from
high school . It was dark because in Holland in winter magrib is at 17.00 . The subway I
was traveling in was almost empty. Here people try to sit alone and not disturb
other people. So everyone was minding their business.
Suddenly a Pakistani
comes and sits right beside me. This was really odd. I tried ignoring him. But
I could see in the window he was staring at me, even though he was sitting
right next to me. A station was coming closer so I stood up and very casually
went to the door. And so did he. He got out, but I didn’t. And when he saw I
was still on the subway he quickly got into the next wagon, and kept an eye on
me.
Now I was really afraid. In my mind I was going over my options. If I would get out at my station he would know I
live nearby. And if I stay on the subway I don’t know how and if I would be
getting back home. Meanwhile the subway is moving and time is running out. I ask the almighty to come to my rescue, my
heart is pounding in my throat and I feel the sweat on my palms. Yet I try to
look as calm and collective as I possibly can.
As soon as the subway stops at
my station I take a run for the escalator. But instead of running down, I stop.
And so does everyone behind me. Now the man cannot move, because everyone in
front of him has stopped. Again I start running down the escalator and when I
am at ground level I start to walk towards my home. Making sure I am walking in
lighted area, and within hearing range of many people. When I come home I start
trembling and shaking like a leave.
To this day I feel ashamed that the kafir’s I grew up
with NEVER made me feel looked at but even in this foreign country a Pakistani
made me fear my life.
I believe this is the fault of many men but most of
all the women of our country. I too am a mother
of a son. I have always talked with him about ladies, izzat, good thoughts, and
bad thoughts. He knows it’s haram to look at girls in this manner.( notice I talk with him, meaning it is a dialogue, inviting questions and answering them)
I
have thought him about this when he was 6! He asked why girls are different and
I told him: Allah in his infinite wisdom has made us different but equal. You
should always respect women and expect respect from them.
Now If I told you my son eats pork, I would have half
the country blaming me for not being a good muslima and mother. But if I told
you: mera beta ladkiyon ko chedta hai.
Most of you would say, well boys will be boys. Chalo koi nahin akhir
mard ka bacha hai. This is where mother’s are wrong.
If Pakistan is to truly
become the islamic republic of Pakistan. Every mother, father and teacher
should teach boys and girls: Humari Izzat: sab nazar ka khel hai!
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