We go to really weird extents to somehow save our izzat. It seems Izzat nowadays is like sand in our hands. We are so busy holding on, that anything that actually matters seems to slip through. When we look back at our lives, bas izzat bachate huwe guzar gai. Haasil kya huwa? Haan dunya ke liye hum ne zidagi gawadi. We spend the hard earned money (literly) on others. People who come and go. After which we have to take it easy for months. Until some new event arises. Instead of going from month to month with our income, in Pakistan we go from one event to another: kabhi behen ki beti ki shaadi, to kabhi mehmaan ka aana.
Don't get me wrong I am not saying ke behen ki beti ka koi haq nahin hai, or that we should shut the door on guests. I am just trying to say dena dilana to chalta rahe ga, magar yeh sab is not worth my husband (or sons) sanity and health.
Let me just say, in the west Pakistanis are used to having 50-70 people over, and cooking and serving everything themselves, and not just dinner either, we have pakistani snacks AND dinner! As the one who arranges all social contacts in our home, I am also responsible for all arrangements for parties, gift giving and day to day budgeting. My husband gives me a certain amount every month and within this budget I have to arrange for every thing from food, clothes, gifts, parties etc. I arrange this by being on the lookout for bargains. I have a list for every event coming up and a budget accordingly. I try to beat that budget, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I just get a deal by spending the amount fixed for gifts on something that would usually cost double.
Let me just say, in the west Pakistanis are used to having 50-70 people over, and cooking and serving everything themselves, and not just dinner either, we have pakistani snacks AND dinner! As the one who arranges all social contacts in our home, I am also responsible for all arrangements for parties, gift giving and day to day budgeting. My husband gives me a certain amount every month and within this budget I have to arrange for every thing from food, clothes, gifts, parties etc. I arrange this by being on the lookout for bargains. I have a list for every event coming up and a budget accordingly. I try to beat that budget, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I just get a deal by spending the amount fixed for gifts on something that would usually cost double.
For example for parties I preplan. Every time I go shopping I buy something needed for the party, like one week I buy extra rice, and the next something small to decorate with etc. So by the time I have the party I only have to buy the fresh things. It saves energy, headaches, money and headaches about money! And I get to enjoy the party better!
Izzat, gifting, parties sab ho gai and most important: By doing so I don't give my husband extra burden for stuff. Because stuff doesn't matter but he and his health does! Meri Izzat mera shohar!
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